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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone of your Daily, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and historic moments, particularly within football. What a delight it was to find out that an online journalist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Consider the situation about the Tykes follower who interpreted the restroom a little too literally, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college for toilet purposes back in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting where the toilets were, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed the Manchester Evening News. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned from the England national team following a short conversation within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” English football has come a long way in the quarter of a century since. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, while a German now sits in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with strong principles … however all remained silent. We hardly glanced at one another, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|